What the hell is a Solo Date?

Plus, TWO book recommendations and a sunscreen podcast episode you should listen to

I recently watched the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine can’t order the takeout meal she wants to her apartment because she lives outside the restaurant’s delivery zone. She then pretends she lives in a building across the street and has the food delivered there, taking up residency in the janitors’ quarters. When Jerry asks why she’s doing this, she responds, “It's better than eating it alone in the restaurant, like some loser!”

Now, this is never something I have never considered to be weird. I have solo breakfasted, lunched and dinnered many a time – and not because I don’t have friends or a boyfriend, thank YOU. Yet, it has come to my attention that over on TikTok and Instagram, the idea of doing this is somewhat of a trend and a “fear” to be conquered. It even has its own name: a Solo Date.

I recently started going to a new gym and was told by a fellow exerciser that I was “really brave” for coming on my own. I asked her why she thought I was brave, and she said she would never do something like try a new gym without a friend coming too. When I told people I was travelling Italy alone last year, I was met with an array of expressions all saying the same thing: confusion.

As an only child and what some would term to be almost irritatingly independent, this entire Solo Date concept has baffled me. When did spending time alone, running an errand or taking yourself out for a croissant and a walk on a Saturday morning become a type of date rather than just… doing something on your own? Are we so paralysed with fear to do things without the company of others that the meagre notion of carrying out an activity alone is radical?

One part of this concept that irks me is the terminology: solo DATE. While I sound like the fun police, do we need to relate everything back to dating in some way, shape or form? Is there not enough of this language already permeating the lives of our single friends that adding yet another type of DATE to the rota feels a tad exhausting? Or is it just part of the TikTokification of our vocabulary where things that would otherwise go uncategorised now have their own terminology – hot girl walks, etc.

While I understand the greatness of friendships and relationships and how it is fun to do many things in the company of the people we love, when I hear of friends who don’t want to do things they want to do without other people coming with them, it makes me sad (and puzzled). You are limiting what you get out of life and your free time by placing self-imposed boundaries that it would be “weird” or not right to just go to the art gallery because you want to see an exhibition no one else wants to see.

However, is this not just life? You want to do something, and you do it – or at least, you should do it. We don’t need mind-numbing short videos of people going for a stroll along the beach and sipping a matcha to empower this decision. In a world of wellness speak and everything needing its own subculture, some things should just exist as is. At least, I hope so?

Reading:

Three Days in June by Anne Tyler – Written from the perspective of a mother in the lead up, on and aftermath of her only daughter’s wedding, and how she navigates her ex-husband suddenly bunking with her. Sounds dull on paper but written in a frank and captivating prose.

Room on the Sea by Andre Aciman – I love his books, how he writes and how almost everything somehow harks back to Italy in one way or another. One for those who want an easy read that takes you away somewhere far more interesting, yet still feels real and raw.

Watching:

Conclave, like half the world, or at least it sounds like – I had been wanting to watch this since December and hadn’t got around to it. Now seemed like the perfect time! A very good film, and the cinematography is something to behold.

Listening:

The Gloss Angeles podcast episode with Ava Chandler-Matthew and Bec Jefferd of Ultra Violette – As many will know, I am a massive sunscreen and sun safety enthusiast. Coming from Australia, I have no time for sunscreen sceptics because I know too many people who have been diagnosed with or had skin cancer cut off of their bodies. Ultra Violette sunscreen is my favourite formulation and I wear it – and reapply at lunch and before leaving the office – daily. This episode is a really interesting discussion on their launch into the US market and product development overall.

Coveting:

Gigantic 1970s style sunglasses – perfect for Euro summer. Something of this Gucci vibe would do nicely.

Some gold cuffs – also for Euro summer nights out. Kind of can’t find anything that I like, and I have the tiniest wrists known to man so this may not help. Anna Rossi has some nice pieces that I am considering exploring.

A tote bag WITH A ZIP – do you know how hard it is to find a tote bag with a zip or some sort of fastening at the top? This is proving much more difficult than I imagined. I like this one by Isabel Marant but I already have one without a zip. Any suggestions, please send my way.

Holding space here for the post that made me laugh the hardest during the week:

RIP Papa Francesco 💔